At a Glance
At a Glance: Overthinking can feel productive, yet the more you analyse, the less clear you often feel. This post explains the difference between useful problem-solving and repetitive worry or rumination, and how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help you understand what keeps overthinking going and respond to it differently.
Overthinking can be exhausting.
You may replay conversations long after they have ended, question whether you said the wrong thing, worry about decisions you have already made or mentally rehearse every possible outcome before something has even happened.
At first, it can feel as though all this thinking is helping. You may believe that if you analyse the situation enough, you will finally feel certain, prepared or in control.
But often the opposite happens. The more you think, the less clear you feel.
I am Dr Sonney Gullu-McPhee, a Chartered Clinical Psychologist offering psychological therapy in Petersfield, Hampshire, and online across the UK. In my clinical work, I often meet people who describe themselves as chronic overthinkers. They are usually not lacking insight. In fact, many are highly thoughtful, conscientious and self-aware. The difficulty is that their thinking has stopped being helpful and has become repetitive, anxious and draining.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, often called CBT, can help people understand why overthinking happens, what keeps it going and how to respond to it differently.
What Overthinking Actually Looks Like
Overthinking does not always mean worrying dramatically about the worst possible outcome.
Sometimes it is much quieter.
It may involve going over a conversation repeatedly and wondering whether the other person was upset. You may reread a message several times before sending it, then continue checking it afterwards. You might spend hours considering a decision because you are afraid of making the wrong choice.
You may also find yourself analysing your own feelings.
- “Why do I feel like this?”
- “What does this say about me?”
- “What if I never stop feeling this way?”
For some people, overthinking focuses mainly on the future. This is often experienced as worry. For others, it focuses on the past, such as replaying mistakes, regrets or painful experiences. This is often described as rumination.
Although worry and rumination are slightly different, both can create the same sense of being mentally stuck.
The Difference Between Problem-Solving and Overthinking
It is important to distinguish useful problem-solving from repetitive thinking.
Problem-solving usually leads somewhere. You identify the difficulty, consider realistic options, make a decision and take action.
Overthinking tends to go in circles.
You may ask the same question repeatedly without reaching a conclusion. Instead of feeling clearer, you become more anxious, doubtful or overwhelmed.
For example, someone may think, “What if I made the wrong decision?”
They then review every detail, imagine different outcomes, ask other people for their opinion and search for reassurance. They may feel better briefly, but the doubt soon returns.
The problem is no longer the original decision. The problem has become the need to feel completely certain.
CBT helps people notice this difference. It asks not only, “Is this thought true?” but also, “Is this way of thinking helping me?”
Why People Overthink
Overthinking often develops as an attempt to protect yourself.
You may believe that analysing everything will prevent mistakes, rejection, embarrassment or disappointment. If you can predict every possible outcome, perhaps you will not be caught off guard.
This can be especially common in people who have experienced criticism, unpredictable relationships, high expectations or environments where mistakes felt unsafe.
You may also have learned that being careful, responsible or prepared earns approval. Over time, thinking everything through can become linked to safety and self-worth.
The difficulty is that life rarely offers complete certainty.
No amount of thinking can guarantee that you will never make a mistake, upset someone or face an unexpected problem.
The more you try to eliminate uncertainty, the more threatening uncertainty can begin to feel.
How CBT Understands Overthinking
CBT looks at the relationship between thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and behaviours.
Imagine that you send a message to someone and they do not reply.
You might think, “I must have said something wrong.”
That thought may lead to anxiety, tension and a strong urge to check the message again. You may reread it, look at whether they are online or ask someone else whether the message sounded rude.
For a moment, the checking may reassure you.
But it also sends a message to your brain: “This situation is dangerous, and I cannot trust my own judgement.”
The next time someone does not reply, the anxiety may appear even more quickly.
CBT helps you identify these cycles. The aim is not simply to change the thought. It is also to understand the behaviours that keep the doubt alive.
CBT Is Not About Positive Thinking
A common misunderstanding is that CBT teaches people to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
That is not really the aim.
If you are worried that you made a mistake, telling yourself “Everything is definitely fine” may not feel believable. It may simply become another form of reassurance.
CBT is more interested in helping you develop a balanced and flexible way of thinking.
You might ask:
- “What evidence do I have that I made a mistake?”
- “Is there another explanation?”
- “Am I treating a possibility as though it is a certainty?”
- “What would I say to someone else in this situation?”
- “Do I need to solve this now, or am I chasing reassurance?”
The goal is not to guarantee a positive outcome. It is to help you cope with uncertainty without becoming trapped in endless analysis.
Common Thinking Patterns Linked to Overthinking
People who overthink often notice certain patterns in the way they interpret situations.
One common pattern is catastrophising, where the mind moves quickly towards the worst possible outcome.
Another is mind-reading, where you assume you know what someone else is thinking, often without enough evidence.
Black-and-white thinking can also play a role. A decision may feel either completely right or completely wrong, with no room for complexity or mixed outcomes.
Some people struggle with excessive responsibility. They feel that they must prevent anything bad from happening and that if something goes wrong, it will be their fault.
There may also be a strong fear of regret. You may believe that if you think hard enough now, you can protect yourself from ever wishing you had chosen differently.
CBT helps you notice these patterns without judging yourself for having them.
How CBT Helps With Overthinking
The first step is often learning to recognise when thinking has shifted from useful reflection into rumination or worry.
Many people do not notice this immediately because overthinking feels automatic. They become aware only after they have spent an hour mentally reviewing the same situation.
CBT can help you identify your common triggers, such as uncertainty, criticism, conflict, decision-making or waiting for a response.
You can then notice the early signs that you are becoming caught in the cycle.
This might be a familiar question appearing in your mind, a tight feeling in your chest or the urge to check, research or ask someone for reassurance.
Once you can recognise the pattern, you have more choice about how to respond.
Reducing Reassurance-Seeking
Reassurance can feel soothing in the moment.
You may ask a friend, partner or colleague whether everything is okay. You may search online, reread messages or repeatedly review your decision.
The difficulty is that reassurance rarely lasts.
If you do not learn that you can tolerate uncertainty, the need for reassurance often returns.
CBT may involve gradually reducing these behaviours. This does not mean removing all support or never asking for advice. It means noticing when reassurance has become repetitive and is no longer helping you decide.
You may begin by delaying the urge to check or ask.
Even a short delay can help you discover that anxiety can rise and then fall without needing to be resolved immediately.
Learning to Tolerate Uncertainty
A large part of overthinking is often driven by the belief that uncertainty is unbearable.
You may think:
- “I need to know for certain.”
- “I cannot relax until I have worked this out.”
- “What if I stop thinking about it and something goes wrong?”
CBT can help you practise living with small amounts of uncertainty.
This might involve sending a message without rereading it repeatedly, making a minor decision without asking several people or allowing someone to respond in their own time.
At first, this may feel uncomfortable.
The aim is not to remove the discomfort immediately. It is to help you learn that you can cope with it.
Over time, uncertainty can begin to feel less dangerous.
Postponing Worry
Some people find it helpful to set aside a specific period for worry.
When a worry appears, instead of trying to solve it immediately, you briefly write it down and return to it later during a planned worry period.
This can help in two ways.
First, it reminds you that you do not have to engage with every thought the moment it appears.
Second, by the time you return to the worry, it may feel less urgent or important.
This is not about suppressing thoughts. It is about changing the belief that every worry requires immediate attention.
Testing Predictions
CBT often involves behavioural experiments.
Rather than continuing to debate a thought internally, you test what happens.
For example, if you believe that making a decision without checking repeatedly will lead to disaster, you might try this with a small, low-risk decision.
If you believe that people will think badly of you unless every message is perfectly worded, you might send a simple message without editing it repeatedly.
The purpose is not to prove that nothing uncomfortable will ever happen.
It is to gather real evidence and discover that you may be more capable of coping than your anxiety predicts.
Shifting Attention Back to the Present
Overthinking pulls attention away from what is happening now.
You may be physically present with other people while mentally replaying the past or preparing for the future.
CBT can help you practise shifting your attention back to the present moment.
This might involve noticing what you can see and hear, focusing on the conversation in front of you or returning your attention to the task you are doing.
You do not need to wait until the thought disappears before moving on.
You can notice that the thought is there and gently redirect your attention anyway.
This can be especially helpful when the mind is trying to convince you that one more round of analysis will finally bring relief.
Overthinking, Perfectionism and Fear of Mistakes
Overthinking is often closely connected to perfectionism.
If you believe that there is one correct decision, one perfect response or one way to avoid regret, then every choice can become high pressure.
You may spend a long time preparing, checking or delaying because making an imperfect decision feels threatening.
CBT can help you challenge the idea that mistakes are always catastrophic.
It may also help you consider whether perfectionism is genuinely helping you perform well or whether it is leaving you exhausted, indecisive and afraid to act.
Learning to make “good enough” decisions can be a significant part of recovery.
This does not mean becoming careless. It means recognising that careful thinking and endless thinking are not the same thing.
When Overthinking Is Linked to Other Difficulties
Overthinking can occur in many different psychological difficulties.
In generalised anxiety, it may take the form of constant worry about health, family, work, finances or the future.
In social anxiety, it may involve replaying interactions and worrying about how you were perceived.
In obsessive-compulsive disorder, doubt and repeated mental checking can become part of an obsessional cycle.
In depression, rumination may focus on past failures, loss or self-criticism.
People who have experienced trauma may remain alert to possible danger and mentally review situations to feel safe.
Overthinking may also occur alongside low self-esteem, perfectionism or ADHD-related emotional regulation difficulties.
Understanding what is driving the pattern is important because therapy should be tailored to the individual rather than treating all overthinking in the same way.
When Therapy May Help
Everyone overthinks occasionally.
It may be helpful to seek psychological support when it becomes difficult to control, takes up a significant amount of time or begins to affect your sleep, relationships, confidence or ability to make decisions.
You may notice that you avoid situations because you are afraid of getting them wrong. You may rely heavily on reassurance from others or feel mentally exhausted by constant analysis.
Therapy can help you step back from these patterns and develop a more trusting relationship with your own judgement.
CBT in Petersfield, Hampshire and Online
I offer Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and other evidence based psychological therapies for adults experiencing anxiety, overthinking, perfectionism, panic, low self-esteem and stress.
My approach is collaborative and compassionate. Rather than simply telling you to stop worrying, we can work together to understand what your overthinking is trying to achieve, why it has become difficult to control and what may help you respond differently.
Appointments are available from my private psychology practice in Petersfield, Hampshire, as well as securely online across the UK.
If you would like to explore whether psychological therapy may help, I warmly invite you to get in touch to arrange a free 15-minute consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between overthinking and problem-solving?
Problem-solving usually leads somewhere. You identify a difficulty, weigh realistic options, make a decision and act. Overthinking tends to go in circles, asking the same question repeatedly without reaching a conclusion. Instead of feeling clearer, you often feel more anxious and doubtful.
Can CBT in Petersfield help with constant overthinking?
Yes. CBT can help you recognise when useful reflection has shifted into worry or rumination, identify your common triggers and gradually reduce the checking and reassurance-seeking that keep doubt alive. The aim is to help you tolerate uncertainty rather than to remove every difficult thought.
Is CBT just about positive thinking?
No. CBT is not about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, which can simply become another form of reassurance. It is about developing a more balanced and flexible way of thinking, so you can cope with uncertainty without becoming trapped in endless analysis.
How do I know if my overthinking needs therapy?
Everyone overthinks occasionally. It may be worth seeking support when overthinking becomes difficult to control, takes up a significant amount of time, or begins to affect your sleep, relationships, confidence or ability to make decisions.
Do you offer CBT online as well as in Petersfield and Hampshire?
Yes. I see adults at my private practice in Petersfield, Hampshire, and I also offer therapy securely online across the UK, so support is available whether or not you can attend in person.