Compassion Focused Therapy
Compassion Focused Therapy in Petersfield, Hampshire
Overcome Self-Criticism, Shame, Anxiety, and Perfectionism Through Evidence-Based Compassion Focused Therapy
Many people find it easier to show kindness, patience, and understanding to others than they do to themselves. You may be supportive when a friend is struggling, understanding when someone makes a mistake, or compassionate when a loved one feels overwhelmed. Yet when it comes to yourself, the voice in your mind may sound very different.
Perhaps you find yourself constantly self-critical, questioning your worth, focusing on your mistakes, or feeling as though you are never quite good enough. You may push yourself relentlessly, struggle to switch off, or feel trapped in cycles of anxiety, shame, guilt, or perfectionism. For many people, these patterns are often the result of life experiences that taught them to survive through self-criticism, achievement, vigilance, or emotional suppression.
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) helps you understand why these patterns developed and, more importantly, how to build a healthier, more compassionate relationship with yourself. As a Chartered Clinical Psychologist, I provide Compassion Focused Therapy in Petersfield, Hampshire, alongside secure online therapy for adults throughout the UK.
What Is Compassion Focused Therapy?
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) was developed by Professor Paul Gilbert, a British clinical psychologist, to help people who experience high levels of shame, self-criticism, and emotional distress. Many people understand intellectually that they should be kinder to themselves. The difficulty is that self-compassion often feels unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or even undeserved.
You may know logically that you are doing your best, yet still find yourself dwelling on mistakes, questioning your worth, or feeling that you should somehow be coping better. Compassion Focused Therapy helps people understand why this happens. Rather than viewing self-criticism as a personal failing, CFT recognises that many of these patterns developed for understandable reasons and often reflect attempts to cope, protect ourselves, or avoid further pain.
The aim of therapy is not simply to think more positively. The aim is to develop a different relationship with yourself, one characterised by greater warmth, courage, wisdom, and emotional balance.
Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves?
Many people assume self-criticism is helpful. They believe it keeps them motivated, prevents mistakes, or encourages success. Yet for many individuals, relentless self-criticism has the opposite effect. It can increase anxiety, shame, perfectionism, low mood, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy.
Often these patterns did not appear out of nowhere. They may have developed in environments where criticism was common, mistakes felt unsafe, emotional needs were overlooked, or approval felt conditional on achievement. For some people, the inner critic developed to protect them from failure or rejection. For others, it became a way of maintaining high standards or avoiding disappointment.
Although these strategies may once have served a purpose, they often come at a significant emotional cost. One of the goals of Compassion Focused Therapy is to help people understand these patterns with curiosity rather than judgement and gradually develop more supportive ways of responding to themselves.
The Role of Shame
Beneath anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and low self-esteem, there is often a deeper emotional experience: shame. Shame is the painful feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong with us. It may arise following criticism, bullying, emotional neglect, trauma, rejection, or difficult relationships.
Many people carry shame for years without recognising it. Instead, it may appear as overachievement, perfectionism, constant self-improvement, difficulty accepting compliments, or a persistent feeling of never being quite good enough. Research suggests that Compassion Focused Therapy can be particularly effective in helping people work with shame and self-criticism, allowing them to develop a more compassionate and balanced sense of self.
What Can Compassion Focused Therapy Help With?
Compassion Focused Therapy has a growing evidence base for a wide range of emotional difficulties. Many people seek CFT because they feel exhausted by the constant pressure they place upon themselves. Others struggle with feelings of inadequacy, shame, or emotional distress that seem difficult to shift despite years of insight. Compassion Focused Therapy may be helpful for:
- Low self-esteem and self-worth difficulties
- Shame and self-criticism
- Anxiety disorders
- Generalised anxiety and excessive worry
- Social anxiety
- Panic difficulties
- Depression
- Perfectionism
- Burnout and chronic stress
- People-pleasing patterns
- Trauma and complex trauma
- Relationship difficulties
- Emotional regulation difficulties
CFT is particularly valuable when emotional difficulties are maintained by harsh self-judgement or an inability to respond to oneself with kindness and understanding.
What Does Research Say About Compassion Focused Therapy?
Compassion Focused Therapy has a growing and increasingly robust evidence base. Research suggests that developing self-compassion is associated with improved emotional wellbeing, increased resilience, reduced psychological distress, and greater psychological flexibility. Studies have found Compassion Focused Therapy to be beneficial for individuals experiencing:
- Anxiety disorders
- Depression
- Shame
- Self-criticism
- Trauma-related difficulties
- Eating disorders
- Perfectionism
- Chronic stress
Research also suggests that individuals who develop greater self-compassion often experience improvements in emotional regulation, wellbeing, interpersonal relationships, and overall quality of life.
How Does Compassion Focused Therapy Work?
Compassion Focused Therapy combines psychological understanding with practical skills and experiential exercises. Together we explore how your relationship with yourself developed and identify the patterns that may be maintaining shame, self-criticism, anxiety, or emotional distress.
Depending on your needs, therapy may include compassionate imagery, mindfulness practices, Soothing Rhythm Breathing, Compassionate Self exercises, and experiential techniques designed to help cultivate feelings of safety, warmth, courage, and self-understanding. The aim is not to eliminate difficult emotions. Rather, it is to develop the capacity to respond to those emotions with compassion instead of criticism. Over time, many people find they become less driven by fear and shame and more guided by wisdom, courage, and self-compassion.
The Compassionate Self
One of the most powerful aspects of Compassion Focused Therapy is the development of what is known as the Compassionate Self. The Compassionate Self is not a different personality. Rather, it is a part of us characterised by wisdom, strength, courage, warmth, and compassion.
When we develop this aspect of ourselves, we become better able to navigate difficult emotions, respond to setbacks, soothe distress, and make choices that support our long-term wellbeing. Many clients describe this as developing a healthier inner voice, one that supports growth without criticism and encourages change without shame.
Compassion Focused Therapy, Schema Therapy and EMDR
One of the unique aspects of my work is that I integrate Compassion Focused Therapy with other evidence-based approaches where appropriate. This may include Schema Therapy, EMDR Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), attachment-informed approaches, trauma-informed practice, neuroscience, and a polyvagal-informed understanding of the nervous system.
For many clients, Compassion Focused Therapy helps create the emotional safety needed for deeper therapeutic work. Developing self-compassion often makes it easier to process painful experiences, challenge longstanding patterns, and build healthier relationships with ourselves and others. You can read more about my wider therapeutic approaches and the difficulties I support on my what I can help with page.
Compassion Focused Therapy in Petersfield, Hampshire and Online
I offer Compassion Focused Therapy from my private practice in Petersfield, Hampshire, and online across the UK. Whether you are struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, shame, self-criticism, low self-esteem, burnout, or the emotional impact of difficult life experiences, Compassion Focused Therapy may help you move towards greater emotional wellbeing and self-understanding.
What Working With Me Looks Like
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes. Compassion Focused Therapy has a growing evidence base and is increasingly used to support individuals experiencing shame, self-criticism, anxiety, depression, trauma-related difficulties, and perfectionism.
No. Self-esteem often depends on how we evaluate ourselves or compare ourselves to others. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with kindness and understanding regardless of success, failure, strengths, or weaknesses.
Yes. Many people who have experienced trauma struggle with shame and self-blame. Compassion Focused Therapy can help people develop a more compassionate relationship with parts of themselves that have carried pain for many years.
Absolutely. Compassion Focused Therapy is frequently integrated with Schema Therapy, EMDR, CBT, and other evidence-based approaches depending on individual needs.
Take the Next Step
Seeking support can feel like a significant step, particularly if you have spent years being hard on yourself. Compassion Focused Therapy offers an opportunity to develop a different relationship with yourself, one based not on criticism or shame, but on understanding, courage, and compassion.
If you would like to explore whether Compassion Focused Therapy may be right for you, I offer a free 15-minute consultation.
Dr Sonney Gullu-McPhee, PsyD, MSc, MA, BSc (Hons)
HCPC Registered Chartered Clinical Psychologist
ISST Certified Advanced Schema Therapist
In-person appointments in Petersfield, Hampshire. Online therapy for adults across the UK. If you would like to arrange an initial consultation, please get in touch and I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Book a free 15-minute consultation to explore whether Compassion Focused Therapy is the right approach for you.