At a Glance
“Why do some experiences stay with us, even when we try to move on?”
You may notice that certain memories continue to feel vivid, emotionally intense, or difficult to shift, even when you logically understand they are in the past. At times, it can feel as though your mind knows something is over, but your body and emotional responses have not fully caught up.
EMDR therapy is an evidence-based psychological treatment that helps the brain process distressing or unresolved experiences differently. It is recognised internationally as a first-line treatment for trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), with recommendations from organisations including the World Health Organization (WHO), the American Psychological Association (APA), and NICE guidelines in the UK.
Its use has since expanded beyond trauma, with growing research supporting EMDR therapy for anxiety, depression, grief, complex trauma, phobias, and difficulties linked to childhood experiences.
Understanding how EMDR works can help explain why certain emotional patterns persist and how they can begin to shift.
I am Dr Sonney Gullu-McPhee, a Chartered Clinical Psychologist (HCPC & BPS registered) with postdoctoral training in EMDR, alongside Schema Therapy, Compassion-Focused Therapy, and other evidence-based approaches. In my clinical work, I often see how unresolved experiences continue to shape emotional reactions, relationships, self-esteem, and nervous system responses long after the original events have passed.
What EMDR Therapy Actually Is
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.
It is a structured psychological therapy designed to help the brain reprocess distressing experiences that continue to feel emotionally charged or psychologically “stuck.”
EMDR therapy is based on the understanding that the brain naturally has the capacity to heal and make sense of experiences. However, when experiences are overwhelming, traumatic, or emotionally difficult, this natural processing system can become disrupted.
As a result, memories may continue to feel emotionally present rather than fully resolved.
Unlike some forms of therapy that focus primarily on talking through experiences, EMDR works directly with how distressing memories are stored within the brain and nervous system.
Why Some Experiences Continue to Feel Present
From a neurobiological perspective, most experiences gradually become integrated into broader memory networks through processes involving the hippocampus, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex.
Over time, this allows experiences to feel more distant, less emotionally overwhelming, and more connected to a coherent sense of the past.
However, when an experience is highly stressful, frightening, shaming, or emotionally overwhelming, this process can become interrupted.
Instead of being fully resolved, the memory may remain stored in a more fragmented and emotionally activated form. The original emotions, bodily sensations, beliefs, and nervous system responses can remain closely linked to the memory.
This is why certain situations, relationships, or triggers may continue to provoke strong emotional reactions long after the original experience has ended.
This is where EMDR therapy can help.
The Adaptive Information Processing Model
EMDR is grounded in the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model, which proposes that many psychological difficulties are connected to unresolved or maladaptively stored experiences.
In simple terms:
- The brain naturally moves toward psychological healing
- Difficulties can arise when experiences are not fully processed
- These experiences continue influencing present-day emotions, beliefs, and reactions
For example, a present-day situation may activate an earlier emotional memory network, leading to reactions that feel immediate, intense, or difficult to control, even when the current situation does not fully explain the response.
EMDR helps the brain reconnect these experiences with newer, more adaptive information, allowing them to feel less emotionally charged over time.
How EMDR Works in the Brain
A key component of EMDR therapy involves bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, tapping, or alternating auditory input.
Although research into the exact mechanisms continues, several well-supported theories help explain how EMDR may work:
- Working memory theory: Holding a distressing memory in mind while engaging in bilateral stimulation may reduce the vividness and emotional intensity of the memory.
- REM sleep analogy: The eye movements used in EMDR resemble those seen during REM sleep, a phase strongly associated with emotional memory processing.
- Neural integration: Bilateral stimulation may support communication between different brain networks, helping previously fragmented experiences become more integrated and less reactive.
Over time, memories often begin to feel less immediate, less distressing, and more connected to the past rather than the present moment.
What EMDR Can Help With
Although EMDR therapy is widely known for trauma and PTSD treatment, research suggests it may also help with a broader range of emotional difficulties, including:
- Trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Childhood trauma and relational trauma
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Depression
- Grief and loss
- Phobias
- Low self-esteem and self-criticism
- Intrusive thoughts or memories
- Emotional overwhelm
- Chronic stress-related difficulties
Rather than focusing only on surface-level symptoms, EMDR therapy aims to address the underlying experiences that may continue to shape emotional responses, beliefs, and patterns of behaviour. You can read more about the range of difficulties I support across my practice.
What Happens During EMDR Therapy
EMDR therapy follows a structured and carefully paced process designed to support both effectiveness and emotional safety.
This typically includes:
- A detailed assessment and history-taking process
- Understanding current difficulties and emotional patterns
- Preparation and stabilisation work
- Developing grounding and emotional regulation strategies
- Gradual processing of distressing experiences
- Integration and review of therapeutic progress
Processing does not begin immediately.
An important part of EMDR involves ensuring that you feel emotionally supported, psychologically prepared, and able to manage emotional activation safely throughout the process.
Why Preparation and Stabilisation Matter
Before processing difficult experiences, therapy often focuses on developing internal stability and emotional resources.
This may involve:
- Building trust and safety within therapy
- Learning grounding strategies
- Developing emotional regulation skills
- Strengthening self-compassion and internal support
- Supporting nervous system regulation
This phase is particularly important for individuals who have experienced complex trauma, childhood emotional neglect, long-standing anxiety, or chronic emotional overwhelm.
EMDR is not about forcing people into distressing memories before they are ready. Effective EMDR therapy is paced carefully and collaboratively.
For some individuals, this preparation phase may be relatively brief. For others, especially where experiences have been long-standing or relational in nature, developing stability and emotional safety may take longer.
This is not a setback or delay. It is a meaningful and necessary part of the therapeutic process.
EMDR for Complex Trauma and Childhood Experiences
EMDR can be highly effective for complex trauma, particularly where emotional difficulties are linked to repeated, relational, or developmental experiences rather than a single traumatic event.
In these situations, therapy often involves:
- Slower pacing
- Greater emphasis on stabilisation and nervous system regulation
- Building emotional resilience and self-compassion
- Working with long-standing emotional patterns and beliefs
Rather than focusing on one isolated event, the work may involve understanding how earlier experiences have shaped present-day emotional responses, relationships, self-worth, and coping strategies over time. Schema Therapy is often integrated where developmental patterns are central to the work.
What EMDR Processing Often Feels Like
Many people wonder what EMDR therapy feels like during sessions.
Although everyone’s experience is different, individuals commonly describe:
- A reduction in the emotional intensity of memories
- Feeling more distant from distressing experiences
- Greater emotional clarity or understanding
- New perspectives emerging naturally
- Reduced emotional reactivity in everyday life
- A greater sense of calm, flexibility, or relief
The aim of EMDR is not to erase memories.
Instead, the goal is to help distressing experiences feel like something that happened in the past, rather than something that continues to feel emotionally present and unresolved.
Is EMDR Evidence-Based?
Yes. EMDR therapy is one of the most researched trauma therapies available.
It is recommended internationally for trauma and PTSD-related difficulties by organisations including:
- The World Health Organization (WHO)
- The American Psychological Association (APA)
- The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE)
Research suggests EMDR therapy can help reduce the emotional intensity of traumatic memories, improve nervous system regulation, and reduce symptoms such as hypervigilance, anxiety, intrusive memories, emotional overwhelm, and avoidance.
EMDR Therapy in Petersfield and Online Across the UK
In my practice, I provide EMDR therapy in Petersfield, Hampshire, as well as online EMDR therapy sessions across the UK.
Alongside EMDR, I integrate approaches including Schema Therapy, Compassion-Focused Therapy, and other evidence-based psychological models where appropriate. Therapy is always tailored to the individual, recognising that emotional difficulties often develop within a broader personal and relational context.
The aim is not only symptom reduction but helping individuals develop a greater sense of emotional stability, self-understanding, and psychological flexibility over time.
A Compassionate Perspective
It is common to feel frustrated when certain experiences continue to affect you emotionally, even years later.
Many people find themselves thinking:
“Why am I still affected by this?”
From an EMDR perspective, this does not reflect weakness, lack of resilience, or failure to cope.
Rather, it reflects how the brain and nervous system have stored those experiences.
With the right support, the brain can begin to reorganise and emotionally resolve these experiences in a way that allows for greater ease, flexibility, and emotional freedom over time.
Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation
If you are considering EMDR therapy, you may find it helpful to explore whether this approach feels right for you.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation where we can briefly discuss your experiences and consider the most appropriate therapeutic approach for your needs. This also provides an opportunity to see whether working together would feel like a good fit.
I offer in-person EMDR therapy in Petersfield, Hampshire, as well as online sessions across the UK. Get in touch to book your free consultation or learn more about how EMDR therapy could support you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is EMDR therapy in Petersfield evidence-based?
Yes. EMDR is supported by extensive research and is recommended internationally for trauma-related difficulties and PTSD treatment by the World Health Organization, the American Psychological Association, and NICE. In my Petersfield practice, EMDR is delivered as part of an integrated, clinically grounded psychological approach.
How quickly does EMDR therapy work?
This varies depending on emotional readiness, current stability, nervous system regulation, and the complexity of experiences being processed. Some individuals notice meaningful shifts within a relatively small number of sessions, while complex or developmental difficulties typically require a longer, carefully paced course of therapy.
Is EMDR safe for complex trauma?
Yes. When delivered in a structured, phased, and carefully paced way, EMDR can be highly effective for complex trauma and childhood trauma. Preparation and stabilisation are central to the approach, particularly where experiences have been long-standing or relational in nature.
What if I do not feel ready to process memories?
That is completely valid. EMDR includes a preparation phase focused on building emotional safety, grounding skills, and internal resources before deeper processing begins. Therapy moves at your pace, not the model’s.
Can EMDR therapy help with anxiety, depression, or grief?
Yes. EMDR therapy can support a range of emotional difficulties, particularly where unresolved or distressing experiences continue to affect present-day emotional wellbeing. It is often integrated with other approaches such as Schema Therapy or Compassion-Focused Therapy where helpful.
Do you offer online EMDR therapy across the UK?
Yes. Alongside in-person sessions in Petersfield, Hampshire, I offer online EMDR therapy across the UK. Online sessions follow the same structured clinical process and are suitable for many adults exploring trauma, anxiety, or long-standing emotional difficulties.