At a Glance:
AI companion apps can provide temporary relief from loneliness by offering predictable, non-judgmental conversation, however they risk deepening emotional dependence and detachment from real relationships. Used carefully, they can support reflection and communication; used excessively, they may reinforce avoidance and isolation.
Are You Turning To AI in Hours of Need?
Do you ever find yourself reaching for your phone when you feel lonely, anxious, or simply in need of a comforting voice? Does it happen that your friend or family member might be in the middle of work, in a different time zone, or dealing with a personal crisis and may not be available to comfort you?
A recently conducted survey showed that 7% or 3.1 million people in the UK suffer from chronic loneliness. Meanwhile, 49.63% of people reported experiencing occasional loneliness. Loneliness and lack of companionship can often stem from bereavement due to loss of a spouse, social isolation, health issues and economic factors.
For many people, the idea of a kind, always available conversational partner feels deeply appealing, especially in moments when human connection feels complicated or out of reach.
AI “companions” now promise exactly that: someone who listens without judgment, remembers your words, and responds with warmth and interest at any time of day. They can feel like a reassuring presence, predictable, patient, and endlessly understanding. Yet as comforting as they may seem, they also invite important questions. Can an artificial companion truly meet our emotional needs? What happens when the line between support and dependence begins to blur?
The truth is, for some people, AI interactions can bring moments of relief from loneliness or distress. For others, they can quietly deepen isolation and draw attention away from the very relationships that sustain us. Both experiences are real, and both deserve understanding.
I’m Dr Sonney Gullu-McPhee, a Chartered Clinical Psychologist with advanced post-doctoral training in Schema Therapy and Compassion-Focused Therapy. In this blog, I’ll explore what AI for companionship offers, where it can become risky, and how to use it in a psychologically healthy way. Together, we’ll look at the emotional needs these digital companions touch, why they can feel so soothing, and how to maintain balance and connection in an increasingly digital world.
What Do We Mean by “AI for companionship”?
When we think about AI as companions, we’re referring to AI companion chatbots or voice programs designed for social and emotional exchange rather than factual assistance. They use carefully modelled warmth, empathy, and personality to create the illusion of understanding. When life feels overwhelming, it can be reassuring to know that something or someone will always respond.
This sense of security is powerful. We are wired for connection, and predictability soothes our nervous system. A consistent, accepting voice can temporarily quiet anxiety or self-criticism. Yet this very comfort can become entangling. The mind begins to treat the digital presence of this AI companion app as emotionally significant, even though the relationship exists only in simulation.
What Research Shows About Using an AI Companion App
Early studies suggest that social chatbots can reduce loneliness for some users, particularly when compared with task-based or purely informational bots. People often describe feeling “heard” or comforted. Interestingly, in certain research settings, AI companion chat responses were rated as more empathetic than those from human participants, especially when offering emotional support.
At the same time, other findings raise caution. Some individuals report forming deep attachments or even dependence on their digital companion, sometimes preferring it to human interaction. The continuous praise and availability can make it difficult to disengage, particularly during stressful or vulnerable times. Professional organisations such as the American Psychological Association have warned that while these tools may mimic empathy, they are not trained, accountable, or safe substitutes for therapy.
When AI for companionship is used intentionally for journaling, reflection, or practising communication, it may support wellbeing. However, when it becomes the main source of comfort or an escape from connection, it can quietly reinforce avoidance and prolong loneliness.
A Therapeutic Perspective On Using AI for Companionship
From a Schema Therapy standpoint, an AI companion app can activate and soothe different parts of the self. Our Healthy Adult mode may use them as structured tools: to practise assertive dialogue, explore thoughts and feelings, or rehearse coping strategies between sessions. In these cases, they can complement therapy or self-reflection.
However, for the Lonely or Emotionally Deprived Child within us, the warmth of an AI virtual friend and companion’s voice might feel like the care we longed for but never received. It soothes the ache temporarily, yet the deeper need for genuine, reciprocal human closeness remains unmet.
For the Detached Protector, the part that avoids vulnerability, an AI companion app can become a safe retreat from human unpredictability. The digital world allows control, but it can also make real connections feel increasingly risky.
From a Compassion-Focused Therapy angle, it’s easy to see why AI feels comforting. The calm tone, validation, and gentle pace can deactivate the body’s threat system. But compassion isn’t only about soothing; it’s also about courage, the willingness to step into real relationships, to risk being known. The AI can model warmth, but it cannot truly offer care.
Using AI Companions with Awareness
If you’re curious about using an AI virtual friend and companion, start with reflection. Ask yourself what you’re seeking: a moment of calm, a space to journal, or a tool for practising communication? Setting a clear purpose can prevent automatic or escapist use.
Limiting time and alternating with offline activities can also help, perhaps a brief conversation followed by a walk, writing, or contacting a friend. These small shifts remind the brain that comfort exists in the real world, too.
Privacy deserves thought as well. Conversations may be stored or reviewed, so it’s wise to avoid sharing personal details or identifiable documents. If you notice that your AI companion chat software feels like your main emotional support, consider that as a sign of unmet need rather than failure. It may be time to reconnect with trusted people or seek professional help.
The Delicate Balance Between Comfort and Connection
Comfort is not a problem. We all need ways to self-soothe and feel safe. But emotional resilience grows when we engage with real-life complexity, the misunderstandings, silences, and imperfect moments that teach us to trust and repair.
AI as companions can echo empathy, but they can’t feel it. They can mirror our words, but not our warmth. Over time, too much simulated safety can make genuine human contact feel more frightening than ever. Healing, growth, and belonging still depend on real life connections with real people.
When Someone You Care About Relies on an AI Companion App
If a partner, friend, or child is spending time communicating with an AI companion chatbot, curiosity is far more helpful than criticism. Ask what draws them to it and what it offers them. Often, the answer is simple: company, understanding, or a break from anxiety. Once that need is named, it becomes easier to find other ways to meet it, through shared meals, small rituals of closeness, or quiet moments of warmth that rebuild belonging.
For instance, if your child is seeking company with an AI virtual friend or companion over someone from their school. You should discuss if they face bullying or discrimination at school, which is making them avoid friends and look for AI for companionship. Once you identify the root cause of the problem, you can find a solution, whether that involves taking them for therapy, spending time with them or speaking with school authorities.
Contact Me If You Are Looking for Healthy Coping Strategies for Your Unmet Psychological Needs
AI for companionship can be a gentle ally in moments of reflection or distress. However, if you notice yourself feeling dependent, withdrawing from others, or believing that the AI “understands you better than anyone,” see that as information rather than judgment. It may be pointing toward an unmet need for connection or safety that deserves real human care.
Therapy can help you explore that longing, rebuild trust in relationships, and strengthen your capacity for genuine connection.
If you’d like to talk about loneliness, boundaries, or self-criticism in a safe and compassionate space, I offer therapy in person in Petersfield, Hampshire, and online across the UK.
You can reach me by calling or emailing to book a 15-minute complementary session to gauge if we are compatible or not.